Some things are just hard.
Being a business owner? Hard.
W2 employee? Hard.
Stay-at-home parent? Hard.
Doctoral student? Also hard.
Life comes with friction.
But to some extent, we get to choose our flavor of “hard.”
And for me, my personal brand of difficulty as a business owner, as a human?
It’s getting it wrong.
When I make a mistake, or worse, when someone on my team does, I used to collapse into a Shaneh-shaped ball of anxiety.
Like the ground opened up and swallowed my competence whole.
Like my worth was on trial.
Like everything I had built was at risk of crumbling under the weight of one misstep.
It felt like my whole world was ending.
It still hits sometimes.
More often than I’d like, honestly.
But I’ve learned something sacred:
There’s a difference between apologizing for a mistake and apologizing for your existence.
And when you're wired for excellence, empathy, and high standards, it can get slippery.
Especially if you're someone who learned—early on—that shrinking kept you safe.
That appeasing meant approval.
That disappearing made you lovable.
I used to over-apologize for everything:
– A client having a rough day
– Someone not getting the results because they didn’t take action
– Taking up space in an empty room
– The weather
– The wind
But here’s what I practice now—especially when I actually mess up:
✨ 1. Fess up—no excuses.
Own it plainly. Cleanly. Without deflecting or spiraling.
✨ 2. Share what’s changing.
Your people don’t need perfection. They need to know you care enough to course-correct.
✨ 3. Make it right.
Whether that’s a refund, a redo, or a repair in relationship—let your actions speak louder than your shame.
That’s it.
That’s the framework.
And it works because it’s rooted in accountability, not self-abandonment.
Let this be your permission slip:
You can be wrong sometimes
…and still be a phenomenal leader, parent, partner, or provider.
You can miss the mark
…and still be trustworthy.
You can be human, flawed
…and still be divine.
Apologize if you must—
For the misstep, the moment you snapped, the time you cut in line or forgot to follow through.
But never apologize for existing.
Your breath is not a burden. Your being is not a mistake.
🔥 Daily Affirmation:
I embody truth over performance.
I lead with reverence and repair.
Every choice I make in integrity expands my capacity for trust, tenderness, and triumph.
My humanity is a portal for my power.
I am worthy, even as I learn.
PS: Every clean repair is a protest against the systems that taught us our value was tied to perfection. Profit is protest. And so is being honest, human, and whole.
🎧 Song of the Day: Way Down We Go by Kaleo