I walked into a breathwork session carrying a fear I couldn’t quite name.
Not of failure.
Not even of success.
But of consumption.
That this calling—this message—this obsession that keeps tugging at my ribcage
would require so much of me
that there’d be nothing left.
I’ve feared that if I let myself be fully visible, if I turn my wattage all the way up,
if I allow myself to be deeply desired...
it will burn my world to ash.
But here’s what I remembered in that space between breath and bone:
I am the phoenix.
Not the kind that dies once.
The kind that chooses to rise again and again—
brick by brick, flame by flame,
rebuilt from the wisdom and scorch of every previous version of me.
The ash left behind - all that no longer serves my becoming.
The truth is, I’ve been manufacturing my collapse
as a way to justify hiding.
I dip my toe in—
say I want to be seen.
But only if it doesn’t leave a mark.
Only if no one hungers when they look.
What I really want?
I want to be craved.
And that terrifies me.
So I show up—bold and blazing—
and crash.
Two hours in bed.
Blistering headache.
Weeks of silence.
And I call it “the cost”.
But it’s not.
The crash isn’t destiny.
It’s a design—my design.
A pattern I created to stay safe from the raw exposure of being fully wanted.
Fully powerful.
Fully expressed.
The phoenix doesn’t burn because it’s too much.
It burns because it’s time to become something more.
And yet—I keep choosing collapse.
The cost I keep paying is fabricated.
The crash isn’t inevitable. The backlash isn’t written in the stars.
It’s the story I built to justify staying half-lit.
It’s the consequence I invented to avoid being seen all the way through.
Let me say that again.
For you.
For me.
For every luminous soul stuck in the push-pull of visibility:
The price you think you have to pay is fiction.
Being fully expressed doesn’t require your exhaustion.
Being deeply desired doesn’t require your self-abandonment.
Being powerful doesn’t require penance.
You’re not here to burn out.
You’re here to light the way.
So what are we protecting ourselves from
by pretending we can’t handle the heat?
Because I see you.
You’re like me.
Building your legacy out of ash and gold.
Reclaiming every part of you that ever played small
in the name of being palatable, productive, or polite.
You’re not fragile.
You’re forged.
Not built for endless burnout—
but for intentional rebirth.
Rising, yes.
But only after the medicine of the flames.
A Sacred Offering
This meditation is a love letter to the version of you that’s no longer pretending to play small.
The one who’s ready to be seen—not just for what you do,
but for the beauty of your desire.
The truth of your wattage.
The wholeness of your presence.
“You Did This: A Deservedness Meditation” is not a pep talk.
It’s a reclamation.
A reminder that you don’t have to earn your impact, your visibility, or your becoming.
Only receive it.
You’ve already done so much.
This moment—this rise—was never about proving your worth.
It’s about letting yourself be wanted.
May this meditation meet you there.
In the quiet.
In the ash.
In the flame.
In the becoming.
Daily Affirmation
I rise with clarity.
I am held, rebuilt, and reborn from every fire I’ve faced.
My power is not fragile—it’s forged.
PS:
Profit is Protest.
And choosing rebirth over retreat is one of the boldest declarations we can make.
Song of the Day: “Nothing Stopping Us” by Layup
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾